Internet dating new yorker article
Whether it’s where I’m eating, where I’m traveling or, God forbid, something I’m buying, like a lot of people in my generation—those in their 20s and 30s—I feel compelled to do a ton of research to make sure I’m getting every option and then making the best choice.If this mentality pervades our decisionmaking in so many realms, is it also affecting how we choose a romantic partner?Having just published a book about modern American ways of seeking intimate and durable personal relationships, I read with great interest Nick Paumgarten’s “Looking for Someone” in the July 4 New Yorker.While my book (entitled Extravagant Expectations: New Ways to Find Romantic Love in America) is not limited to a discussion of Internet dating, I share his interest in the question whether or not Internet personals help or hinder the objectives pursued.The first girl, he said, was “a little too tall,” and the second girl was “a little too short.” Then he met my mom. Let’s look at how I do things, maybe with a slightly less important decision, like the time I had to pick where to eat dinner in Seattle when I was on tour last year.
It is an attitude that does not bode well for the compromises and adjustments all durable personal relationships require.
Abstract: Although online dating has only recently become culturally acceptable and widespread, using computers to make romantic matches has a long history.
But rather than revolutionizing how people met and married, this article shows how early computerized dating systems re-inscribed conservative social norms about gender, race, class, and sexuality.
journalist Nancy Jo Sales, who recently argued, in her feature “Tinder and the ‘Dating Apocalypse,’” that dating apps are causing changes in human mating rituals of a magnitude comparable to those that occurred after the establishment of marriage.
“As the polar ice caps melt and the earth churns through the Sixth Extinction, another unprecedented phenomenon is taking place, in the realm of sex,” Sales writes.